So, last night I followed the ingredients and instructions to the letter. Took a quick peak now and again. Looked okay. Smelled okay.

The buzzer went off and I lifted the lid.

At first glance, I knew right away I needed a back-up for my kids. I mean, does this look anything like the picture from the magazine above? Does it even look edible?

Um, NO.

Then I took a bite.

It tasted like dirt.

It was so bad, that I immediately had to eat one of these (made earlier in the day) to wash away the insipid flavor. Had they not been within reach, I probably would have settled for a mouth full of soap.

Out of pure guilt and not wanting to waste food (although I don’t even think anyone in a third world country would have eaten this), I placed it all in a Tupperware container (for later?)…at which point, I swear, the plastic wilted. If it could have spoken, I’m certain it would have said something like, “heeelp meee. I’m dyiiing.”

This morning, Paul suggested I let Ebi and Ginger take a stab at it. Surely, they would eat it.

NOT. A. CHANCE. They actually appeared insulted that I would pass something so vile onto them. And I have Beagles – they’ll eat anything!

It was finally put to rest. And I’m sure my garbage can had the same reaction as the Tupperware.

Still unclear about how dreadful this was?

Several years ago, we went to a dinner party. The main course was fairly decent, but the dessert was another story. It resembled mucus with a blue hue. Paul thought it smelled like ammonia. I thought it tasted like an entire box of baking powder. Absolutely horrific. The worst food I have ever eaten.

This dish? Ranks as #2.

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This past weekend promised the last semi-warm temperatures (and when I say semi-warm, I mean 50′s), so off to Emma Krumbees we went.

I had been hearing about this place ever since Haley was born. It did not disappoint! It’s a fantastic u-pick apple orchard and pumpkin patch, with a lot of extra activities, like a rope maze, tile maze, train ride, barnyard animals, playground, and the best-worst musical act ever. Plus a restaurant (sorry Emma, but your pie still ain’t got nothin’ on my Mom’s.)

If you aren’t in the Minneapolis area, I am certain such a place exists near you, and I highly recommend finding it. Especially if you have kids or grandkids.

First, we abused the General Store, making certain there was a bathroom, and ways to waste money on baked goods and unnecessary plastic objects.

Then it was off to play, look at the weird scarecrow displays, and let Haley sit on a pony (for an outrageous $5.)

The pumpkin patch was next. With itty-bitty pumpkins for my itty-bitty kids.

We saved the apple orchard for last. We walked around…

And picked…

And then it was time to go home. (Ya think?)

So I could make homemade applesauce in my slow cooker.

Well, what else are you going to do with 15 pounds of apples? (Besides apple crumb cake, apple spiced muffins, and apple pie…oh ya. All on my to-do list.)

Anyway, let me tell you about this applesauce – the aroma was absolutely intoxicating while they slow cooked for four hours. Then once the buzzer went off, all I did was take a potato masher to the soft mass (which had shrunk by half) and mashed away for a minute or so. Put a little on my spoon…applesauce has never tasted so good. Seriously. And I liked the warm factor. Who knew making this condiment at home was so easy? Now, all I need to do is figure out how to get my entire house to smell like slow cooked applesauce all the time. And not from a scented candle!

Really great Fall day.

Print this recipe (adapted from Mommy’s Kitchen)

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My sister, Jen, is so awesome. If it weren’t for her, all I would ever get in the mail are bills. She also loves to cook and is always on the look out for new food related magazines. Lucky for me, when she finds a good one, she always purchases two.

I was the recipient of a fat package the other day and I knew exactly what it was before opening it. I even squealed a little. Seriously, I squealed. The dogs were so disappointed when they discovered it only contained paper.

One of the magazines was Better Homes and Gardens 5 Ingredient Meals. I’m always a little skeptical when I see recipes with few ingredients, since most of the ones I’ve tried in the past turned out bland. Nonetheless, I gave it the benefit of the doubt and found several that were worthy of a post-it – all color coded, of course. (Yes, I am that anal gal you work with who everyone makes fun of.)

This recipe merely won the slot of being tested first because I already had all the ingredients.

It has an Asian flavor to it, reminiscent of traditional Crispy Orange Chicken you can order at most Chinese restaurants. The pork was so moist and tender, falling apart in the best way. And once again, white rice came through, collecting all the delectable juices. This was just as good the next day. If you don’t currently own a slow cooker (a.k.a. crock pot), here’s a reason to buy one.

Verdict: WINNER. Which means Better Homes and Gardens 5 Ingredient Meals is currently batting 1,000. On deck is Teriyaki Beef Spirals.

Thanks, Jen!

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